Taking the training wheels down

I’ve been away for a while, haven’t I?! Not posted for 18 days .. feels like 2 months or more for several reasons. It’s all been so mixed up. A mix of really high highs and really low lows as well as neither of those. But I think I can say something officially changed these past 3(ish) weeks. I think my training wheels just came down.

This month, May has been nothing like I’ve experienced before. So many lessons, incidents, experiences and productive work crunched into 18 days. It started off with a child suffering from all kinds of indigestion issues. Oddly I didn’t realize how much she was ODing on milk and how much I’d indulged. That didn’t do the poor thing a lot of good. 5 days of suffering (no amount of prune, fruits, veggies worked at this point) ending in a hospital visit! That was the end of April and a few days into May. I was not going to cancel my much much awaited Chennai trip over this. I was willing to take the risk. Thankfully that was the right decision.

Little A was just fine and back to normal in Chennai. The humidity did her good. And funny enough, the heat didn’t get to her at all. She had a ball with all the mamas, mamis, pattis and chithis while mommy and dada caught up with friends and cousins. Felt like 20 again. Long nights with cousins, chatting about everything and nothing … but just scratching each other’s back on topics like these. A wee bit of clubbing with college friends .. something I have barely done since little A was born. Dancing on the floor after forever, felt just like the therapy I needed. It was nice to note that Chennai’s bar scene isn’t just filled with 20 somethings. I don’t know why I thought it was. I’d never visited a single pub in India until now. Been away too long with never enough time on vacations to catch up with friends here. The noise, the madness, the crazy laughing .. weirdly I just fit in with the gals .. like I’d never been away. Truth be told though, I could handle 4 hours of it, no more. I walked out after hopping 2 places. Leaving everyone longing for another ladies night soon. It wasn’t over the top like I’d feared it would be. 4 hours, fun with the single ladies and off by 1 and a night of more talk with the cousins. Just what I needed.

4 days of awesomeness and we left grandma behind in Chennai. We wanted the time to get back to routine before the new school started in June. 2 days after we returned, little A developed allergies from someone’s garden and got the hives. Now this whole thing is terrifying. 2 little ants. Weird looking ones. And that was that. 2 emergency runs to the hospital, 2 injections and 5 days of medication later .. she still seemed swollen and rashed out from hives. Her face was so disfigured. And all the meds kept her dizzy. Of course, this was followed by diarrhea. 2 days! As usual, I stopped her meds half way. Not a big fan of medicating my girl. Her body handled it decently after 5 days but the emergency runs were scary. I’ve never seen her face so crazy red, swollen and disfigured. Immunity! No better time to build it, we kept telling ourselves. She had to go through this. Of course this meant, no park visits, no sand or too much outdoor play for a week or so. That was kind of crazy too. She started getting aggressive and acting up at home. I guess a week of indoor life would do that to me too.

But we’ve been busy seeing an opportunity in the middle of every issue. Or maybe it’s just easy to look for other things to soothe everyone in the middle of a crisis. We sought out more family. All the indoor madness drove us to take her to her cousins for a weekend. Another mini vacation, this time with the in laws and nieces. Little A was nowhere to be seen or heard the entire time. She thoroughly enjoyed the company of her cousins and those rashes were ignored a bit. The pain, pushed somewhere unnoticeable in her head, I suppose. We discovered a new mall (UB City Mall) with an absolutely awesome outdoor plaza, a kind of an outdoor theater space and pasta that tasted very similar to what she loved back in SF. She dug into her bowl of creamy basil fettuccine and emptied it in all of 10 mins. The last time I saw her eat like that … was on our last trip to an SF restaurant, 5 months back 😦 She looked up when she was done, her cheeks were smothered with all that alfredo .. she looked so content behind all that redness on her face. She didn’t care who looked, who stared, nothing. She promptly proceeded to play in the fountain and jump up and down the stairs to the open air theater.

I’d insisted that my mom not come back to help me with my little girl. We had to do this ourselves, daddy A, little A and myself. For our sake. No more help. I’m so grateful for all the help I got from family. But I think I did the right thing by taking down my training wheels and doing this myself. Doing this with my husband. I must say we did all the right things for her while she suffered. And I don’t mean the meds and doctor visits. I mean the weekend with the in laws and the nieces, I mean the new mall, I mean the new stickers we got her. I think we handled this one pretty well without help.

I even did big chunks of the house. Indulged in local fabric and did some 7 projects in one week, the most I’ve ever done in a week. All Pinterest worthy I must say. Printed backing for the hutch, several fun fabric wrapped ‘notice’ boards for the house (I’m a sticky freak for those of you that don’t know that), photo frames put up, sanded, painted and refinished old wooden furniture. She was sleeping 3 hours in the afternoon with the meds … what was I supposed to do?!?!

These past 2 days I’ve been leaving to join Daddy A at our startup .. as soon as she falls asleep at 1.30 pm. I spend 3 hours there. Both days she’s woken up, told the nanny I’m away buying her surprises and patiently waited for me to return, while emptying her snack box. What more can I ask for?! 3 hours of work is a huuuuuuge step forward. 1 hour of awake time knowing mommy isn’t home is a massive step. Not leaning on granny for everything and using granny to ward off the anger with amma and dadda are big big steps. I think I can say I’ve had my share of the really high highs and lowly lows these past 3 weeks. And I hope I don’t come back with another post that reads ‘famous last words’!

The training wheels are off people. I think I’m ready for this ride.

7 responses to “Taking the training wheels down

  1. Happy Riding!
    My close friend returned to India 5 years ago – pros and cons aside, she feels overall it was the right decision for her. She used to say that the first couple of years are the hardest, there’s so much re-learning to do. Almost like when you first leave India and go abroad, I guess.

  2. Pingback: Lessons in motherhood, everyday! | A rush of blood to the head·

  3. That was some scary allergy! And thank God for pasta – looks like that just what she needed – some pasta and some fun after the time indoors.

    • Oh yes KA .. thank God for creamy pasta!! I think I should get t-shirts for all of us saying that. Why isn’t that a great old saying or something like that … THANK GOD FOR PASTA!! 🙂

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