Things are looking better. There, let me say it out loud.
I feel better already.
We’re finding some rhythm here. Slowly even beginning to dance a little I think without worrying about who’s looking or what’s cooking! It’s funny because I didn’t realize it until 5 mins back. Daddy A was just telling me how he’s feeling tired and exhausted and unsettled. Now that’s new. That’s usually my line. I responded back saying “well, at least the house is settling. Settled. Kind of.” Little A is doing so much better. Friends, routine, bubbles, gardening, lessons on family using playdoh .. she seems so much better. I haven’t seen much anger or weirdness in a while. Instead of always waiting for something to come by and surprise her .. she’s actually getting content playing in her room, 20 – 30 mins at a time. That’s a lot. The house is slowly settling as well. Pics of the house coming up soon. It’s feeling like home. Really. 🙂 And I’ve been reading. A few pages a day. A good start, I’ll say. I’ve been going to the gym everyday and am determined to lose that baby weight before end of summer. Ahem! Famous last words. After all the dramatic stay at home rants last week suddenly things are settled. Maybe I just had to get it off my chest. Maybe it was the last rant. (Again, famous last words!) We’re probably taking a little vacation somewhere nearby. A cousin’s engagement coming up in Chennai. A trip there. The rhythm .. the little rowdy and I are finding it.
Photos here of Little A at the gaming arcade in the mall (she’s rocking air hockey for a 2.10 yr old!!), of happy times with the in laws and nieces, of more gardening, a happy set of herbs and fun silly bedtime stories.
Daddy A’s overwhelmed though. Quality of work from our Indian contractors are borderline awful at this point. We can’t wait to have our own employees. I’m stilllllll working on his website. Hopefully we’ll start making the rounds at startup events to grab some good talent. Good news is that we have 5 interns starting mid-May. Daddy A’s hoping they’ll be worth his time and money. I’m hoping we can find fun young kids to brighten up our day while making fun products. (I know .. what’s with all the happy notes already .. I want what I think my alter ago was smoking. The rhythm’s gone from slow rocking to a little funky jiggle). So as always, Daddy A and I find ourselves on opposite sides of the emotional spectrum. It’s funny how that happens all the time. But I guess it’s good because we’re there to pull each other up. And his downs are always professionally related so home’s kind of a getaway for him.
There were quite a few incidents this past week that pulled me down. But I’ll save that for when I’m angry again. I need a lot of anger to rip those ones. After watching Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Avengers for the 100th time last night, a good work out before dinner, a little happy camper asleep by 10 and some yummy mommy cooked food – I think I’m realizing that there’s a rhythm forming. One that I don’t want to ignore. I want to remind myself of how awesome I felt sitting in my garden last evening sipping on my tea, reading my book and chatting with my mom, who’s visiting for a couple of days; how I felt taking in every spoon of my zucchini soup and pepper, feta polenta. It was almost as though I was back in California. I think the last time I made a decent fulfilling meal for myself was in January, just before my kitchen got packed away. Maybe things are settling down 🙂 Thanks for staying with me and talking me through these past few months folks. I’m not saying the bumpy ride is over but I see fewer potholes along the way or maybe I just grew a little thick skin on my behind like KA suggested on the other post.